are known as Mammafers, although it would manifestly be more correct to call the males Papafers. Under the present classification, the confusion of genders necessarily engenders confusion.

Unless AGASSIZ is gassing us, the true seal has no sign of an ear, wherefore the deafening roar of the surf in which it delights to sport is probably no inconvenience to it. As distinguished from dumb beasts in general, it may properly be called a deaf and dumb animal. The false seal, on the contrary, has as true an ear as e'er was seen. To the counterfeits belong the sea lion, the Mane specimen of the tribe in the Arctic sea, and the sea leopard, which seems to be phocalized in the Antarctic circle. All the varieties of the seal seek concealment in caverns, and their Hides are much sought after.

Sealing was at one time chiefly monopolized by adventurous New Englanders, who combined the pursuit with whaling, but at present the sealers of Salt Lake bear off the palm from all competitors, both as regards numbers and hardihood. Whether they combine whaling with sealing is not positively known, but probably they do. Such is the universal passion for sealing among the people of that region, that the old men act like Young men when engaged in this exciting occupation.

The Phocidæ appear to have attracted the attention of Mankind at a very early period—Seals being frequently spoken of in the Scriptures. St. JOHN witnessed the opening of no less than seven varieties, and must have been well acquainted with their internal structure.

The earless, or true species, are often seen in considerable numbers on the British coast, and the Great Seal of England—only to be found in the vicinity of the Thames—is of such remarkable size and weight, that it never makes its appearance without producing a strong Impression.

The Green Seal, a much admired variety, is peculiar to Madeira, and seals of various colors are often seen in close proximity to the British. Ports; the number taken off Cork being prodigious.

None of the animals of the Phoca genus are tenacious of life. They may readily be destroyed with sealing whacks. A large stick properly applied has been known to seal the fate of a dozen in the space of half an hour. KANE knocked them over without difficulty, and they never attempt to defend themselves, according to PANEY.

In conclusion, it may be remarked that immense herds of seals cover the coasts of Alaska. It is nevertheless difficult to catch a glimpse of them, on account of the enormous flocks of humming birds, which darken the air in that genial clime. Occasionally, however, the Arctic zephyrs disperse the feathery cloud, and then vast numbers of the timid creatures, with a sprinkling of the Walrus, may be seen by looking in a Se(a)ward direction.

A LITTLE ACKNOWLEDGMENT.

The Free (and Easy) Press has honored PUNCHINELLO with a brief as well as premature obituary paragraph. Flattered as he is by being thus noticed in the columns of a journal of the long standing and well sustained popularity of the Free (and Easy) Press, it pains PUNCHINELLO to be obliged to state that he still lives, and that he is not only alive, but kicking. That he has come to an end, is true—but it is to the end of his First Volume, as the F. (and E.) Press can see by turning to the admirably written, dashing, humorous, and absolutely unsurpassable Index appended to our present number, which Index PUNCHINELLO cordially recommends to the perusal of the F. (and E.) Press. The Preface to his Second Volume, however, which is now in preparation, will, PUNCHINELLO confidently assures the F. (and E.) Press, be altogether superior to the Index to his First. Let the F. (and E.) Press look out for it. But, meanwhile, the F. (and E.) Press can cheer itself by frequent contemplation of the entertaining personage who serves as tail-piece to the Index, and whose gesture is of that familiar and suggestive kind that will doubtless be thoroughly understood by the F. (and E.) Press, and, as PUNCHINELLO hopes, fully appreciated.

"HUMPTY DUMPTY SAT ON THE WALL,
HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A GREAT FALL."

AND IT HE HAD FALLEN AMONG THE PRUSSIANS, ONLY, IT MIGHTN'T HAVE BEEN SO BAD FOR HIM; BUT, AS HE ALSO FELL UPON FRENCH BAYONETS, IT IS QUITE CERTAIN THAT HE CAN NEVER GET UP AGAIN.

HIRAM GREEN IN WALL STREET.

His Celebrated Speech before the Board or Brokers.—A few Words of Sound Advice from the Squire.

Doorin' a breef sojern in the Emperor City, a deputation of Wall Street brokers and smashers called and invited me to make a speech afore the members of their church, whose Sin-agog is situated in Brod Street.

Thinks I, if I can make these infatuated worshippers of the Golden Calf, Mammon, see the error of their ways and take a back track, me thunk my chances for the White House would be full as flatterin' as Sisters WOODHUL, GEORGIANA FRANCIS TRAIN, or any other woman, in '72.

Layin' off my duster, and adjustin' my specturcals, at the appinted hour, I slung the follerin' extemperaneous remarks at 'em:

My infatuated friends and Goverment Bondmen:

As an ex-statesman which has served his country for 4 years as Gustise of the Peece, raisin' said offis to a hire standard than usual, to say nothin' about raisin' an interestin' family of eleven morril an hily intellectooal children, I rise and git up, ontramelled by any politikle alliances, to say: that when you fellers git on a mussy fit, like the old woman who undertook to pick her chickens by runnin' them through a patent hash cutter, you make the feathers fly, and leave your victims in a hily clawed up stait.

Perfesser ARKIMIDEES, of Oxford, (and here allow me to stait, so as to avoid newspaper contraryversy, as in the case of DISRALLY'S novel Lothere, I have no refference to T. GOLDWIN SMITH whatsomever, as I believe ARKIMIDEES is now dead,) said he could raise the hul earth with a top section of a rale fence, if he could only find something tangible to rest his timber on.

My friends, that man had never heerd of Wall Street, and I'de bet all the money I can borrer on it.

With such a prop as this ere little territory, where games of chance are "entered into accordin' to the act of Congress," to cote from a familiar passage in every printed copy of PUNCHINELLO, the Perfesser could have raised this little hemisfeer quicker than any of you chaps can gobble up a greenhorn.

And, sirs, I'me sorry to be obliged to speak plain, it would be a darned site more to your credit if you'd try and raise the earth, instead of daily usin' Wall Street as a base of operations to raise H----, well—excuse me, the futer asilum for retired brokers.

How do you manage, when you want to make a steak?

You run up stocks and produce a crysis.

Outsiders rush in lickety smash, and invest all the money they can rake and scrape, in these inflated stocks. Suddenly you prick the bubble, when, alas! besides the cry-sis, there's more cry-bubs in and about Wall Street than there was in Egipt, when NAPOLEON BONAPART chopped off the heads off all the first born. Instances have been known, where a good many of you chaps have rammed your head in the Tiger's mouth once too often.

If my memry serves me correctly, FISKE and GOOLD made you perambulate off on your eyebrows, last fall, and while the a-4-said Tigers walked off with the seats of your trowserloons in their teeth, you all jined in the follerin' him:

Another little dodge of your'n, my misguided friends, is to keel off K. VANDERBILT.

What did you do t'other day?

Why, when KERNELIUS was engaged in a friendly game of cards for keeps, up at Saratogy, some poor deluded money-maniac telegrafs that the Commodore had at last found his match, and had been gathered to his fathers. While at the bottom of the dispatch was forged the name of my friend, KISSLEBURGH, city editor of the Troy Times, who, up to the present time, if this coot knows herself, hain't bin into the hiway robbin' bizziness, not by a long shot. But, my friends and feller citizens, old VAN is sharper that a two-edged gimlet.

When he lays down his wallet among a lot of other calf skins, like a great sponge in a puddle of water, it sucks every square inch of legal tender, which is in suckin' distance.

For a regler 40 hoss power suction, K. VANDERBILT is your man. I ones thought I could never take a locker to this 'ere honest old heart, but as I cast my gaze over this audience, and observe among the Bulls and Bears, a cuple of Dears, I will retract that, payin' in the follerin' Jew de spree:

(This impromtu poetikism, Mr. PUNCHINELLO, kicked up quite a little breeze, in the midst of which the pretty brokers blushed and looked so bewitchin' like, that it was enuff to make a feller throw stuns at K. VANDERBILT if the pretty Dears only wanted him to.)

I agin resoomed:

My infatuated friends; afore I wind up, let me give you a few partin' words of advice.

Give up this 'ere gamblin' bizziness. When you run up gold it hits the hul mercantile body of this nation a wipe in the stummuck. A good many little cubs, as well as a few ole Bears, have been gobbled up by your confounded efforts at runnin' up gold, while you grin and chuckle like the laffin' hyena, when ransackin' Navy Yards and whisky distilleries. But, if you insist on goin' ahead and earnin' your daily peck by smashin' things and layin' out the onsofisticated, all I have got to say is, that next time you've got a sure thing to make a speck, by telegrafin' me at Skeensboro, I won't mind comin' down and takin' a hand in, if my pocketin' a few hundred thousands will be the means of betterin' your morrils, by my sharin' your burden. In concloosion, feller citizens, feelin' in rather a poetical mood to-day, I will close with the follerin' tribute to Wall Street and its inhabitants:

Amid tumultous cheers, and a general rushin' to DELMONICO'S, where Wall Street waters her stock, (of lickers,) I sot down.

Ewers, without a dowt,

HIRAM GREEN, Esq.,

Lait Gustise of the Peece.

Stage By-play.

A sporting paper gives the following item:

"Two nines, composed of members of BOOTH'S, WALLACK'S and the Olympic theatrical companies, played an interesting game of base-ball at the Union base-ball grounds, last week."

Imagine Sir HARCOURT COURTLEY batting splendidly to DIEDRICK VAN BEEKMAN'S pitching; or picture Major DE BOOTS waiting patiently on the short stop for a chance to put Captain ABSOLUTE out on his second base. The experience of these gentlemen before the footlights may have made them light-footed, but from mere force of habit they are all pretty sure to be caught out in the "flies."

Professional.

"They may talk about nines," said the Doctor, when base-ball was the subject under discussion. "They may talk about their nines; but I know of a nine that would lay them all out in double-quick time, and it is called Strychnine."

A FECULENT NUISANCE.

Persons passing along Nassau Street, between Ann and Beekman Streets, for some days past, have had their olfactories unpleasantly assailed by a vile stench. On investigation by officers of the Board of Health, the foul odor was found to exhale from the premises of 113 Nassau Street. Further examination disclosed the fact that the nuisance arose from a quantity of Dead Rabbits deposited on the premises by one JAMES O'BRIEN, for purposes best known to himself. It is said that the entire concern is to be handed over to the New York Rendering Company, for conversion into the kind of tallow used for the manufacture of the cheapest kind of rush-lights.

The Greatest Joke of the Season.

The idea of nominating JAMES O'BRIEN for the office of Mayor of the City of New York. But it cannot be called a practical joke.

"IT WAS IN THE CHAMPAGNE COUNTRY THAT LOUIS NAPOLEON CAME TO GRIEF. THE FIZZ OF THE CHAMPAGNE WAS TOO MUCH FOR HIM, AND HE FIZZLED."—(Letter from a War Correspondent.)

PUNCHINELLO AS A "SAVANT."

MR. PUNCHINELLO: I have always taken a profound interest in Science. When a child my fond parents observed in me a decided taste for Entomology, the wings and legs of butterflies and grasshoppers being the objects of my special investigation. As a school-boy I obtained (despite the frequent closing of my visual organs) considerable Insight into Physical Science in the course of numerous pugilistic encounters. A close Application to Optics at that time enabled me to get some Light on the Subject.

I was quite a phenomenon in Astronomy. While yet an unweaned infant I made numerous observations on the Milky Way, and when learning to walk frequently saw stars undiscernable with the most powerful telescope. Since my arrival at man's estate I have frequently experimented on the Elasticity of the Precious Metals, but have generally found it extremely difficult to make both ends meet.

Considering, therefore, that I had as just a claim to be called scientific, as many who pretend to be Savants, I determined to attend the late Scientific Convention at Troy. My reception was most gratifying. On presenting my credentials to the Convention, that learned body welcomed me with open arms, and I was escorted to a place among the members by its distinguished head.

Some of the speculations of these eminent philosophers were exceedingly profound, and it is really wonderful, Mr. PUNCHINELLO, to what an extent theory may be carried in the advance of science.

Mr. GOOSEFELT read a learned and original paper—carefully compiled from various sources—on the Steam Engine, in the course of which he stated that his great aunt, who had been blown up on the first steamboat that ever went down in the Mississippi, during the great Earthquake of 1811, was still living. Also, that his godfather, the celebrated Mr. NICODEMUS, assisted (probably in the interests of science) in pulling down the statue of GEORGE III in the Bowling Green. The importance of these two facts cannot be over-estimated, as they will undoubtedly give a tremendous impulse to the wheels of science.

Professor GREYWACKE, the eminent Geologist, delivered an address on Natural Petrifactions, indicating the various specimens of Ancient Fossils by which he was surrounded, and describing their formation. The audience was probably