class="sc">Auguste. Well, well, here you are! (They kiss each other) Everything has been going fine with you, hasn't it? What's the use of asking? When a man goes around in clothes like those!--Of course everything ain't gold that glitters--here's my husband!

Robert. Well, brother-in-law, give me your hand,--one of the family!

Michalski. Honored! Don't often happen that a horny hand like this is so honored!

Robert. That doesn't sound very brotherly. (To Auguste) Where's Alma?

Auguste. Our Princess was afraid she wasn't beautiful enough for the foreign brother! She had to stay and burn her bangs first. (Robert is deeply concerned) She'll probably come by the next car. Where did you get the pound-cake? (Frau Heinecke passes the cake around and Michalski and Auguste eat)

Frau Heinecke. Eat another piece, Bobby!

(Robert refuses, but the others eat.)

Heinecke. (After a pause) What do you say to that, Michalski, "Welcome, beloved son."

Michalski. (Eating) Nonsense!

Robert. (Surprised) Brother-in-law!

Heinecke. What? What I did with this noble heart and this lame arm!

(Robert pacifies him.)

Michalski. I'm a simple man and I ain't afraid to say what I think! I've got no use for that kind of rot and nonsense! When a man has got to work the way we do with his stomach empty and a whip at his back----

Heinecke. 'Specially when a man goes walking at eleven o'clock and eats pound-cake to boot!

Auguste. Are you two at it again? (To Michalski) Will you never shut up? Can't you see he's in his second childhood?

Heinecke. I'm in--Good!--Now you see! That's the way I'm treated by my own children!

Robert. (Aside to Auguste) Really, sister, I never thought you would say a thing like that!

Auguste. What are you talking about?

(Enter Wilhelm.)

All. (Except Robert) It's Wilhelm! Good morning, Wilhelm! (Heinecke and Michalski shake hands with him)

Frau Heinecke. Who is the pretty bouquet for? That must be for somebody in the city.

Wilhelm. No, it's for you ... You are the young gentleman? (Robert nods--cordially) Awful glad to know you! (About to offer his hand)

Robert. (Smiling) Very kind of you.

Wilhelm. The honorable family sends you a hearty welcome and these flowers. They are the rarest in the conservatory. But, between you and me, the flowers came from the Gnadiges Fraulein. And the Gnadiges Fraulein was pretty anxious to----

Robert. Were you commissioned to say that, too? (Controlling his feelings)

Wilhelm. No, not----

Robert. Then keep it to yourself!

(The servant starts to go.)

Frau Heinecke. Wouldn't you like to have a piece of pound-cake with us, Wilhelm? There's plenty left!

Robert. Please, Mother! (Gives Wilhelm a gold-piece) The man has his pay--Tell the Councillor that the Count von Trast-Saarburg and I beg the honor of a meeting with him at three o'clock! You may go! (Wilhelm goes)

Frau Heinecke. A count! What sort of a count?

Robert. A friend of mine, Mother, to whom I am under great obligation.

Auguste. (Softly to Michalski) He pretends to have a count for a friend!

Frau Heinecke. Wait, I'll put the flowers in water. But you oughtn't to have been so harsh with Wilhelm, Bobby! He's a good friend of ours.

Auguste. Us common folks don't have counts for friends!

Michalski. We have to be contented with servants!

Frau Heinecke. Yes, you must be nice to Wilhelm, Robert, for our sakes; he can do a lot for us! How many pieces of roasts and how many bottles of wine has he slipped us!

Robert. And you accepted them, Mother?

Frau Heinecke. Why not, my boy! We're poor folks--we ought to be glad to get things like that for nothing!

Robert. Mother, I'll double my efforts; I'll give you what I can spare for my bare living expenses. But promise me you won't take anything more from that servant, will you?

Frau Heinecke. Oh, that would be foolish pride and waste! You should not look a gift-horse in the mouth! And he only wanted to do you a favor, when he told you that about the Gnadiges Fraulein! That's something special! Whenever I met her in the court, there wasn't a single time when she didn't stop me and ask if there was any news from you, and how you got on with the hot weather and all! And at the same time she smiled so friendly--if you were a smart boy, Robert----

Robert. For heaven's sake. Mother, stop!

Heinecke. That wouldn't be so bad--two millions!

Michalski. Would you lend me a little then, eh, Brother-in-law?

Robert. (To himself) How much longer must I be tortured?

(Alma appears at the half-open door. She wears a yellow jacket and a coquettish little hat. She wears suede gloves and many bracelets. She carries a fancy parasol.)

Alma. Good morning, everybody.

Robert. (Runs to her and embraces her) Alma! Thank God!

Michalski. (To Auguste) The two swells of the family!

Auguste. (Lovingly) Listen: little sister, if you were as ugly as you are pretty, you wouldn't take long to find out that your brother hated you.

Alma. Auguste, that's mean.

Robert. Oh, she didn't mean anything. Now be good again!

Alma. (Affected) My own dear brother!

Auguste. (Aside) Lord, ain't it touching!

(