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قراءة كتاب More Misrepresentative Men
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اللغة: English
الصفحة رقم: 5
class="x-ebookmaker-pageno" title="[76]" id="pgepubid00078"/>
A book of verse (my own, for choice),
A slice of cake, some ice-cream soda,
A lady with a tuneful voice,
Beside me in some dim pagoda!
A cellar—if I had the key,—
Would be a Paradise to me!
A slice of cake, some ice-cream soda,
A lady with a tuneful voice,
Beside me in some dim pagoda!
A cellar—if I had the key,—
Would be a Paradise to me!
In cosy seat, with lots to eat,
And bottles of Lafitte to fracture
(And, by-the-bye, the word La-feet
Recalls the mode of manufacture)—
I contemplate, at easy distance,
The troublous problems of existence.
And bottles of Lafitte to fracture
(And, by-the-bye, the word La-feet
Recalls the mode of manufacture)—
I contemplate, at easy distance,
The troublous problems of existence.
For even if it could be mine
To change Creation's partial scheme,
To mould it to a fresh design,
More nearly that of which I dream,
Most probably, my weak endeavour
Would make more mess of it than ever!
To change Creation's partial scheme,
To mould it to a fresh design,
More nearly that of which I dream,
Most probably, my weak endeavour
Would make more mess of it than ever!
So let us stock our cellar shelves
With balm to lubricate the throttle;
For "Heav'n helps those who help themselves,"
So help yourself, and pass the bottle!
. . . . . .
What! Would you quarrel with my moral?
(Waiter! Leshavanotherborrel!)
With balm to lubricate the throttle;
For "Heav'n helps those who help themselves,"
So help yourself, and pass the bottle!
. . . . . .
What! Would you quarrel with my moral?
(Waiter! Leshavanotherborrel!)
Andrew Carnegie
N Caledonia, stern and wild,Whence scholars, statesmen, bards have sprung,
Where ev'ry little barefoot child
Correctly lisps his mother-tongue,
Where ev'ry little barefoot child
Correctly lisps his mother-tongue,
And lingual solecisms betoken
That Scotch is drunk, as well as spoken,
There dwells a man of iron nerve,
A millionaire without a peer,
Possessing that supreme reserve
Which stamps the caste of Vere de Vere,
And marks him out to human ken
As one of Nature's noblemen.
Like other self-made persons, he
Is surely much to be excused,
Since they have had no choice, you see,
Of the material to be used;
But when his noiseless fabric grew,
He builded better than he knew.
Is surely much to be excused,
Since they have had no choice, you see,
Of the material to be used;
But when his noiseless fabric grew,
He builded better than he knew.
A democrat, whose views are frank,
To him Success alone is vital;
He deems the wealthy cabman's "rank"
As good as any other title;
To him the post of postman betters
The trade of other Men of Letters.
To him Success alone is vital;
He deems the wealthy cabman's "rank"
As good as any other title;
To him the post of postman betters
The trade of other Men of Letters.
The relative who seeks to wed
Some nice but indigent patrician,
He urges to select instead
A coachman of assured position,
Since safety-matches, you'll agree,
Strike only on the box, says he.
Some nice but indigent patrician,
He urges to select instead
A coachman of assured position,
Since safety-matches, you'll agree,
Strike only on the box, says he.
At Skibo Castle, by the sea,
A splendid palace he has built,
Equipped with all the luxury
Of plush, of looking-glass, and gilt;
A style which Ruskin much enjoyed,
And christened "Early German Lloyd."
A splendid palace he has built,
Equipped with all the luxury
Of plush, of looking-glass, and gilt;
A style which Ruskin much enjoyed,
And christened "Early German Lloyd."
With milking-stools and ribbon'd screens
The floor is covered, well I know;
The walls are thick with tambourines,
Hand-painted many years ago;
Ah, how much taste our forbears had!
And nearly all of it was bad.
The floor is covered, well I know;
The walls are thick with tambourines,
Hand-painted many years ago;
Ah, how much taste our forbears had!
And nearly all of it was bad.
Each flow'r-embroidered boudoir suite,
Each "cosy corner" set apart,
Was modelled in the Regent Street
Emporium of suburban art.
"O Liberty!" (I quote with shame)
"The crimes committed in thy name!"
Each "cosy corner" set apart,
Was modelled in the Regent Street
Emporium of suburban art.
"O Liberty!" (I quote with shame)
"The crimes committed in thy name!"
But tho' his mansion now contains
A swimming-bath, a barrel-organ,
Electric light, and even drains,
As good as those of Mr. Morgan,
There was a time when Andrew C.
Was not obsessed by l. s. d.
A swimming-bath, a barrel-organ,
Electric light, and even drains,
As good as those of Mr. Morgan,
There was a time when Andrew C.
Was not obsessed by l. s. d.
Across the seas he made his pile,
In Pittsburg, where, I've understood,
You have to exercise some guile
To do the very slightest good;
But he kept doing good by stealth,
And doubtless blushed to find it wealth.
In Pittsburg, where, I've understood,
You have to exercise some guile
To do the very slightest good;
But he kept doing good by stealth,
And doubtless blushed to find it wealth.
And now his private hobby 'tis
To meet a starving people's need
By making gifts of libraries
To those who never learnt to read;
Rich mental banquets he provides
For folks with famishing insides.
To meet a starving people's need
By making gifts of libraries
To those who never learnt to read;
Rich mental banquets he provides
For folks with famishing insides.
In Education's hallowed name
He pours his opulent libations;
His vast deserted Halls of Fame
Increase the gaiety of nations.
But still the slums are plague-infested,
The hospitals remain congested.
. . . . . .
Carnegie, should your kindly eye
This foolish book of verses meet,
Please order an immense supply,
To make your libraries complete,
And register its author's name
Within your princely Halls of Fame!
He pours his opulent libations;
His vast deserted Halls of Fame
Increase the gaiety of nations.
But still the slums are plague-infested,
The hospitals remain congested.
. . . . . .
Carnegie, should your kindly eye
This foolish book of verses meet,
Please order an immense supply,
To make your libraries complete,
And register its author's name
Within your princely Halls of Fame!
King Cophetua
The story of his roving eye,
You must already know it,
Since it has been narrated by
Lord Tennyson, the poet;
I could a moving tale unfold,
But it has been so often told.
You must already know it,
Since it has been narrated by
Lord Tennyson, the poet;
I could a moving tale unfold,
But it has been so often told.
But since I wish my friends to see
My early education,
If Tennyson will pardon me
A somewhat free translation,
I'll try if something can't be sung
In someone else's mother-tongue.
My early education,
If Tennyson will pardon me
A somewhat free translation,
I'll try if something can't be sung
In someone else's mother-tongue.
"Cophetua and the Beggar Maid!"
So runs the story's title
(An explanation, I'm afraid,
Is absolutely vital),
Express'd, as I need hardly mench:
In 4 a.m. (or early) French:—
So runs the story's title
(An explanation, I'm afraid,
Is absolutely vital),
Express'd, as I need hardly mench:
In 4 a.m. (or early) French:—
Les bras posés sur la poitrine
Lui fait l'apparence divine,—
Enfin elle a très bonne mine,—
Elle arrive, ne portant pas
De sabots, ni même de bas,
Pieds-nus, au roi Cophetua.
Lui fait l'apparence divine,—
Enfin elle a très bonne mine,—
Elle arrive, ne portant pas
De sabots, ni même de bas,
Pieds-nus, au roi Cophetua.
Le roi lors, couronne sur tête,
Vêtu de ses robes de fête,
Va la rencontrer, et l'arrête.
On dit, "Tiens, il y en a de quoi!"
"Je ferais ça si c'était moi!"
Il saits s'amuser donc, ce roi!
Vêtu de ses robes de fête,
Va la rencontrer, et l'arrête.
On dit, "Tiens, il y en a de quoi!"
"Je ferais ça si c'était moi!"
Il saits s'amuser donc, ce roi!
Joseph F. Smith
HOUGH, to the ordinary mind,
The weight of marriage ties is such
That many mere, male, mortals find
One wife enough,—if not too much;
I see no no reason to abuse
A person holding other views.
The weight of marriage ties is such
That many mere, male, mortals find
One wife enough,—if not too much;
I see no no reason to abuse
A person holding other views.
Though most of us, at any rate,
Have not acquired the plural habits,
Which we are apt to delegate
To Eastern potentates,—or rabbits;
We should regard with open mind
The more uxoriously inclined.
Have not acquired the plural habits,
Which we are apt to delegate
To Eastern potentates,—or rabbits;
We should regard with open mind
The more uxoriously inclined.
In Salt Lake City dwells a man
Who deems monogamy a myth;
(One of that too prolific clan
Which glories in the name of Smith);
A "Prophet, Seer, and Revelator,"
With the appearance of a waiter.
Who deems monogamy a myth;
(One of that too prolific clan
Which glories in the name of Smith);
A "Prophet, Seer, and Revelator,"
With the appearance of a waiter.
This hoary patriarch contrives
To thrive in manner most bewild'rin',
With close on half a dozen wives,
And nearly half a hundred children;
And views with unaffrighted eyes
The burden of domestic ties.
To thrive in manner most bewild'rin',
With close on half a dozen wives,
And nearly half a hundred children;
And views with unaffrighted eyes
The burden of domestic ties.
To him all spouses seem the same—
Each one a model of the Graces;
He knows his children all by name,
But cannot recollect their faces;
A minor point, since, I suppose,
Each one has got its popper's nose!
Each one a model of the Graces;
He knows his children all by name,
But cannot recollect their faces;
A minor point, since, I suppose,
Each one has got its popper's nose!
They are denied to me and you:
Such old-world luxuries as his,
When, after work, he hastens to
The bosoms of his families
(Each offspring joining with the others
In, "What is Home without five Mothers?").
Such old-world luxuries as his,
When, after work, he hastens to
The bosoms of his families
(Each offspring joining with the others
In, "What is Home without five Mothers?").
Such strange surroundings would retard
Most ordinary men's digestions;
Five ladies all conversing hard,
And fifty children asking questions!
Besides (the tragic final straw),
Five se-pa-rate mamas-in-law!
Most ordinary men's digestions;
Five ladies all conversing hard,
And fifty children asking questions!
Besides (the tragic final straw),
Five se-pa-rate mamas-in-law!
What difficulties there must be
To find a telescopic mansion;
For each successive family
The space sufficient for expansion.
("But that," said Kipling, in his glory—
"But that is quite another storey!")
To find a telescopic mansion;
For each successive family
The space sufficient for expansion.
("But that," said Kipling, in his glory—
"But that is quite another storey!")
The sailor who, from lack of thought,
Or else a too diffuse affection,
Has, for a wife in ev'ry port,
An unappeasing predilection,
Would designate as "simply
Or else a too diffuse affection,
Has, for a wife in ev'ry port,
An unappeasing predilection,
Would designate as "simply